The other day while watching TV, a horrifying commercial came on: an advertisement for Barbie and The Three Musketeers.

I kid you not.

The technicolor world of Barbie just doesn’t mesh with the political intrigue of Dumas’ original work. I’m sure its stock full of girl power and all that jazz, but really? Do you really need to change a work of literature to bend it to Barbie’s ways?

Fortunately, the plot sounds completely different from the book. I wonder how Barbie would tackle Richelieu. In this world, would he wear a florescent pink robe and try to steal all the kittens?

I’m not sure how I stand on the whole “murdering retelling classics for the sake of our children” thing. I grew up watching Wishbone, which I adored, but I see that as a little different. Wishbone kept as faithfully to the stories as a thirty minute kids’ program could (with a talking dog to boot!), but this program really stood for getting kids to read the classics by introducing them in such a way that they were relatable.

View at own discretion. I advise not.